so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
