____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
