now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
