Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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