Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I puked a lego.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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