We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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