I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
