Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
