I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
