I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
