clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
