You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
