Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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