We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
