He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
