How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
