Already got asked if we're dating
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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