Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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