So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
