You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
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