Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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