I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
