I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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