Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
