I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
