I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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