Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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