So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
