the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Small penises have feelings too.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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