i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
