It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
