Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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