ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
