don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize