So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
