so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You are a genius and a whore.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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