Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
