I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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