90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
