At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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