"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
