But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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