If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize