I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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