I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
