i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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