Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize