I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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