Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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