I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
