Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
