hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
