She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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