so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
